Sunday, December 23, 2007

its good that we are able to get lots of 'desired' songs all of sudden. i happened to access my inbox and suddenly ive lost my mood to do anything. i shouldve known from the start that it would have created havoc in my life. from a single touch of buttons, it has become my nightmare in seconds. a hole has perfectly embedded in my head and wont be long it'd spread deadly diseases all over my soul. i will have to start from scratch and God knows how long i will be going. i understand that i cant rely on others every other time and should build my own castle with both of my hands. these hands are meant to create something good for myself and the whole world. will they up for these challenges? time will answer. i miss my kompie back home and of course, muti2. im missing so many things and possibly losing my intentions to do a whole lot of activities this week. we hardly do anything, by the way. im waiting for someone who can bring me to exciting places. i love surprises and hopefully, he'll know how to do it right. ive grown so much not realizing that no one will answer my tantalizing questions without helps from up above. honestly, i wouldnt be walking to this very rough paths without His mercy and countless helps throughout my life. when will i be going to the right direction? im not sure. i keep my hopes fly high...

do i have time to complain? not a single second. watching flies forcing its way to human existance, reminding me of them. they, who barely contain their ego for the sake of gold and glory. am i among the forsaken being? lets wait and see. i walk accross the park and find my heart has been crossed by unknown forces. sitting on the park bench hoping someone who is kind enough to put it back to its default place. a leashed dog inching its nose on my polished shoes leaving behind a careful mark all over them. the sun is supposed to set at the most fortunate moment. darkness clouding my sights. passing by a corner that duplicates your existance. stopping to take a good look at the store but find nothing but dim lights. hesitating to enter the premise; dancing on both of feet in accordance of one preferrence. choosing to step away from the corner and take other place to land the precious heart and soul. a glimmer of hope resound in both of ears. it doesnt profound the significant of life. again, stepping away from trouble, choosing to walk away from the desired signs of trust. letting myself being blanket by uncertainties and flown to a distant place against everyones will. refreshing breeze rocketing against my perspiring face, comforting beyond imagination. smiling to everybody....

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