Saturday, October 14, 2006

nothin i can say more than 'thank you God'. my life has been different for the past 2 yrs. i have been through a lot but nothin compare what had happened 2 yrs ago. starting from one simple mistake, everything came in a different manner. i lost hope and nearly thinking of quitting but something holding me up. the fact that i will not come into an end of problems everytime i say 'i quit', i realized i had to be firm no matter what happen. i know i will face more in the future but deep down inside me, i know i can go through another stages without a doubt. do i really think this is over? i do not think so. there are more complicated paths up there but im not afraid of what will happen tomorrow coz i believe God will not let me fall into a black hole. without bitter no one will know how good sweet is. i definitely learned somethin from my past experiences and wont stop learning. every minutes teach me about somethin unknown, however, i most likely ignore all this coz this is my weakness, as i have already undestood this condition. maybe its too early to judge my life as a jeopardy but i was close naming it few moments ago. jeopardy is such a bad word but i have no doubt i will call 'it' again once i am cornered with no solutions. i have faith in God coz He has saved me from my own self lots of times and i cant thank Him enough.
what is happening to my family and i, will not stop right here coz we will be faced by tough decisions ahead coz life is about that. every seconds we are faced by choosing which is best or suit us better. no one makes no mistakes neither do i. but what makes me happy is that i will not face them alone coz i have my family with me and i will not bow over some nitty gritty. God saved me last time and He will do the same next time, amin. i have come to understand that what it seems nice it doesnt have to be. i may not be the nicest person ppl will come accross but i certainly have somethin that other ppl dont have, i might not understand it by now but someday i will. i met ppl who talked nice but deep inside they just puppets, draw by their desire to outplay others. i do not understand my mistakes they thought ive done to them but i dont want to find answers either coz i had enough of them. they can call me and my family anything but no one knows us better than God. i will do with or without them coz i cant see the difference. i wanna be myself and they just have to accept it, if you dont like me just say it up front, like i do to them. my thoughts are with my loved ones....

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