blinded bulbs/torn/waiting for you

dunno why ive been feeling a bit purple and reddish when it comes to blogging..haha mebbe its because of my fav soccer teams arsenal and real madrid. yesterday i had a bad and awful day coz i've waited for arsenal games and i stayed up just because of that, and the game was cancelled due to bad weather *that damn FOG*. well at least they can get some rest and be prepped for the next game. and i'm staying up again coz i'm waiting for newcastle utd vs chelski, and real madrid vs recreativo huelva. my sist is asleep *poor pumpkin* and here iam blogging my heart out while listening to my fav playslit on itunes. i just got a very2 meaningful song *karma by diffuser* my bestest friend ever introduced me to this song coz her bf loved it. *babe where the hell are you??!!*

sometimes you get what tou want

sometimes you get what you need

but you're always gonna get what you deserve

it's all about what you want

if you can get what you need

but you're always gonna get what you deserve

i believe in those words *i'm a believer* haha just like my sist i'm also a realists, i only believe in something if i see it with my eyes. and i'm no fairytale kind of girl. mebbe it's because i've gone through a lot and i decided not to believe in anything that's not real. and lately i've been hooked to laguna beach..gosh i can't wait for the next episode *nick w going 2 hv a date with rocky..* everytime i see tessa and rocky i always feel reminded for what had happened when i was in hs *the dramas and those drama queens..* it's hard to get over, personally i' hv no beef right from the beginning but they messed up my life and it's difficult for me to digest even now. luckily those days are over and i hv my own life, i'm not planning to see them or even hv words with them. i don't want to ruin what i've build these past years they can say i'm holding a grudge or whatever but 4 me no 2nd chance or whatever it's lame actually for me to keep saying that. i just want to stress that i was badly hurt, i'm heavily broken and i'm not ashame to admit it. that's why mebbe i'm a different person when it comes to my view about ppl, life, and love. after my fallout with a really2 fake person*this person still trying to buy me*, i broke up with a loser*he's still trying to buy his back into my life with being such a loser*, and then i went thru rough patches in 2 years. i believe that loads of ppl went thru much more worst situations than me..that what keeps me going besides love from God, support from family, and kisses from my lovely crowd. at least because of their endless mockings and lies, i'm a better human being with a very2 big heart *that's what my sist said* it's good to blend with new ppl, ppl with different perspectives, and of course ppl that won't judge me if they don't know me. i'm not anti-social or i hate my past, my past and memories made me who i am and i thank God for that but i'm not going to blend with ppl who likes to judge others *as if they're the good ones, hey man leave the judging to God* and ppl who talk bad about others. i've been the top-most-talkabout and i didn't like that, it's harsh and it hurts when ppl look at you as if you made their life like hell. besides talking about others is full of sins!

what i've learned,

ppl can say what they want

and nothing i could do to shut them

so i'll just wait and let God do the talking.

update: real madrid's game is postponed due to accidents that happened to fans of recreativo huelva that were travelling to madrid. oh my God, that's just soo sad, after two young juventus players were involved in accident during training, yesterday arsenal's game also postponed til january because of fog and now this, OMG.. i think it's damn right for real madrid to agree to recreativo's proposal. although i feel bummed coz i'm unable to watch my babes update: the game is still on but real madrid are doing their best to welcome recreativo's fans and make them feel homey.

In view of this decision, Real Madrid has decided to make this game a homage to the victims and their families and has adopted the following measures

- Cancel any social act linked with the match.
- Cancel the tribute to Fabio Cannavaro, whose celebration was scheduled minutes prior to the beginning of the encounter.
- Hold a minute of silence in honour of the victims.
- Wear black mourning armbands.
- Donate the total amount of match gate takings to the families of the deceased and injured men and women in this unfortunate accident.

good to hear that the game is still on but i feel sorry for the fans that were injured and died in this tragic accident. i wish they were going to cancel the game but unfortch this is in the middle of season and the schedules are very2 hectic. i'm happy that canna is able to play after spanish fa has lifted the red-card ban. and it's so unfortunate for diarra and cassano that have to received punishments from capello for talking haha..

have a good day!! signing off

*miss-c*