Not Even.

he proposed.

why do i feel nothing

not even a glimpse of hope?

not even a bit of jealousy or even a smile

he used to make me cry.

for days until my eyes were swolen

he used to make me feel angry

because of lies he got me named

he smiled.

i nodded, he went on

did he know

he used to rape my faith?

little things like flowers

make me smile

not even you with flowers

could erase your lies to me

you threw my soul away

with your two bare hands

i took the last straw

i went to search my soul

i'm never a person full of rage

but still preferences are above words

and i can't be what i'm not

unlike you, fake those smile away

we have different lives

you can smile all the way you want

but the truth is never far

and your lies won't hurt me anymore

someday i'll know more than your tiny brain could fit

someday i'll see more than you thought you had seen

someday i'll feel more than you thought you'd feel

someday i'll be more than you thought i'd be

explanation:

we both know, it was you who pushed me around. we both know, there was no one else outside our cynical-bond that should we blame. we both know, i was honest. we both know, you begged and i refused. we both know, you promised and you broke the chain not me. we both know, you had too much vodka when you blabbered your lies and it hurt me deeply. we both know, i used to have faith in you but you betrayed my faith in you. we both know, you should keep your useless mouth shut than begging for people's attention. we both know, i was the victim and i can never let you back in my live and pretend everything's never better. we both know, after what you have done and said i'll never forgive and forget as easily as turning my back against you.