disgusted by all the uncertainties. waiting at the edge of it doesn't make my life easier. stumbling upon controversies lead to more disastrous events in my graced life. feel a bit anxious to find out the ultimate answer. will he bang the door and ram it wide open. one could only guess. i have made his life more than living hell and i am pretty certain that he will no longer tolerate my dubious reasons. how bad it will become? i do not posses the solution for my own troubles. i am solely responsible to whatever actions i decide to do in my life. i chose to stand down, therefore someone will charge down my wall of defense. probably i do need a counselor to defend my state of mind. i am really wishing that it will end forever. i need a comforting zone to make peace with everyone involved. God give me your answer
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