Monday, June 30, 2008


can't it be more difficult for you and me? i have sacrificed a lot and this is how you pay them all?. we promised to put honesty on top of anything substantial in this world. how could you let such indefinite relationship ruin our delicate life. we have gone from top to bottom but nothing could thrill me anything more than purity of love. the way you held my hands showed to the world how a man loves a woman. wasn't it you who took me to the theme park and enjoyed a ride from zero to higher up? wasn't it you who lit 100 of candles to celebrate our healthy relationship? wasn't it you running at the back of a taxi just to snap the driver's head for running down an innocent woman while she was playing with her newly bought flowers at the edge of pavement?. you are somebody with thousands of goodness and loveliness. but how can you be like this when i am more than ready to be paraded around town carrying your given name. pleasure is what you seek and i am standing in between your dreams and reality. this isn't a place where you have left me. it was clear back then without shadowy mist clouding the town. i was standing and not crawling the way i am now. it is hard to differ between honesty and greedy nowadays when truth has no meaning anymore. what have happened between us? what have i done to make you go away and refused to hug my deserted soil? o mother earth please send my resentment to the man who has forsaken his lover for his own happy ending. i have waited and waited for years now and his tall figure has never arrived to touch my cold stone. i am lonely and bitter as nightmare but you are not here with me to whisk away my bony figure. i will never forget you my love. we will be reunited and that's what His promise to me. it only happen when the final day is justified. i am here waiting....

it is funny how we are actually influenced by so many things around us. i have watched many horror movies and some of them are difficult to erase from my deepest thought. this isn't an exact masterpiece like in any other horror movies, but it is in the other way around. the story itself is actually derived from a thought of mine about the dead. do they have feelings over living people? emotions and regret are something we are experiencing while we are breathing and live normal life. however, once we are no longer the living, do we feel anything? can i recognize my own face? or will i embrace the memory of happiness whenever my family visits my grave?. questions upon questions without precise answers have pressured me to write this simple story but yet terrorizing my own sanity. only God knows better and He will be the only judge of all judges in universe

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