do i have to take this huge burden all by myself forever and ever? i guess so. it's starting to meltdown like iceberg in alaska and to make it worse i don't know how to halt this process. imagine if God were to granted longer life than i had to, those menacing troubles were not easily vanish and let me live my life happily ever after for sure. i had to make haste decisions to prevent any bad things crumbling all over again. why do these things never leave me alone. is it a curse? or merely stupid mistakes that never stops irritating human being for their existence. hah...what a blabbering non sense. i hope i can find guidance to bear this unbearable pain. am i too "dirty" to beg for His mercy? i don't think so. i am no angel but no evil either. lead me to your way forever more....
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