i have shed a light on how happy i was yesterday and quickly averted to frustration in minutes. it happened again. there are those moments when i receive such happiness and soon, bad virus comes on me and pushes me over the edge. yesterday was another example of good comes with bad ones. a week ago i had the same deal and wondered whether this would be a habit. i don't have the answer coz only the Almighty posses the genuine answer for me, but i am not sure when will get the answer. sooner or later i have to deal with this matter and no matter how hard it is for me and my family, we will have to stay firm and strong coz weakness can never take us far. of course, he won't just be sitting around and wait for me to handover it this chrismas. he will push and push until nothing can be done. i have waited and this is my time to pay him back, in bad way. i sense urgency on his words and to me, he is in dire situation. i hate him with all i might but is it appropriate? i don't care and never will. i only pray this will soon be over and let me live my own life like it used to be.